Requests
==
+ I find a new home for my ministries
+ I am following God, not my own desires
+ I find a new family that cares about me
Updates
==
Surprisingly, the decision wasn't that difficult. I guess because emotionally, I had already moved on. I'm not angry, just heart broken that it came to this. Goodbye CCCNJ.
Drama is the one thing that's been consistent in the last 6 years. No matter what happens, no matter how bad or difficult it gets, I push on. I love this ministry. I love the family and community it fosters. I love the creative freedom it gives to people. I love how we honor God by using our gifts and talents.
I talked about taking Drama independent. Well, as a result, I'm not allowed to hold my meetings at church. Since 90% of my team can't drive, it effectively kills the ministry. So that's it, I begin my search for a new home.
I feel bad for SG10, my small group. They're caught in the middle of this ugly divorce and they deserve so much better. I trust that God will carry them and will provide them with another leader.
I hope you guys stick around and keep me in your prayers.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Requests and Updates for 8/7/08
Requests
==
+ I honor God in all that I do
+ I don't rebel for the sake of rebelling
+ That God would mold me into the man He wants me to be for the service He has in store for me
Updates
==
It's been a few weeks since I got back from Kyrgyzstan. A bunch of people have been asking me how the trip was. For the most part, I've been responding with, "We'll see," because there were a lot of unresolved issues right before returning. Today, I can give you an answer to that question. It was a waste of time and money.
For the last 6 years, I've been doing drama. I've been writing and training my team to perform sketches. And more recently, we've been doing short films. Not Oscar caliber material, but I'm happy with our results based on our budget and skill level. We've been operating independently until a few months ago when the church wanted to have the right or power to approve everything that we produce. I got pissed.
Why? Because I'm a volunteer. I put my sweat, money, love, time, and energy into this ministry. The only reward I get is the knowledge and comfort that I had complete creative control. It's putting out a product that I know I've done my best on not only to entertain but to honor God.
Why is final cut so important? Because the edit is the final leg of the story. It's like getting fiber optics to the curb, but the last 10 feet are copper, what's the point? Or a mechanic who finishes 90% of the work on your car and then hands the last bit to a toddler.
If it were really about the art, then they would want to be involved from the very beginning of the process, but they can't be bothered. No. This is about control and ultimately about free speech. It's about what I can and can't say. It's about what I can and can't put online.
Why is free speech so important? Because it allows us to express ourselves. It allows us to communicate. Without free speech, we wouldn't be able to tell people about Jesus and what He did for us. Granted, that's an extreme example, but if you look around the world, there are plenty of places where it's not only illegal, it's punishable by death. But the flip side is that people can say nasty things about you and your religion. And that's the sacrifice that needs to be made if we want something good.
Obviously, there are certain restrictions that we have to take into consideration with free speech, such as endangering others. For example, it's illegal to yell, "fire" in a crowded theatre because it'll incite a riot.
But some organizations are so afraid of free speech, that they're unwilling to come to any compromise. If that's the case, I refuse to work with those people, paid or unpaid.
Because of my position and my conviction, many of my ministries are in danger. I've decided to take CG.Drama independent of the church because the approval process would be crippling. Not that changes much, because I've been working without the church's support for the last 6 years. But it will make things difficult because I will have limited access to rooms to practice.
If I ever can't do drama in a church, I walk. It's that simple. Regardless of whatever other ministries I'm involved with, that's the deal breaker.
I think about the things that I gave up to pursue ministry. A well paying job which I had just received a raise, an easy commute, a life of relative comfort and simplicity. In exchange for a life of low pay, long hours, heartache, and frustration. And I haven't even left the country yet. When that happens, I face the threat of disease, political and religious factions that want my blood because of what I believe, uncertainty, and loneliness.
Why would I do that? Because I have a God who did all that for me and people need to know that.
I know my reward is not on this earth. And no matter how much I try to do the right thing, things may not always turn out well. But that's okay because I know that God will vindicate me in the end.
I've already given up everything once. Doing it again a second time will be that much easier. And eventually, I'll have nothing that they can take away because the love of God is in my heart.
I've struggled a lot with identity. Who am I? Am I defined by my religion? My job? My interests? And tonight, I realized who I am. I'm a sinner in need of God's grace. No matter what else changes, until the day I die, that one fact will still remain.
I know I'm imperfect. I curse when I'm angry. I drink. I'm stubborn when I think I'm right. And that's just counting what I do right now. But I'm so grateful to know that Jesus loves me and accepts me just the way I am. He loved me before when I would curse Him and laugh at those who believed in Him. And He'll continue to love me no matter what I do. In my success and in my failure. Especially in my failure.
Do I want to change? Yes. But I'm less concerned about looking good than being good. I want to stand up for what I believe is right. I want to stand up for those who are being oppressed. So when the day comes and someone points a gun to my head and asks me if I'll deny Jesus, I'll be able to say, "No."
I've been asked what I'll do when I finish school and I never know how to answer them. I don't even know what I'm going to do next month, let alone know 2 years from now. All I want to do is do what Jesus tells me. Nothing more and nothing less. He's told me to love him and love others. And I'll do my best to do that.
Now, I'm at a crossroads. I don't know what will become of my ministry here at church. I don't even know if I'll continue to be in this church.
I'm thankful for my mom and M who support me and understand my struggles and will tell me when I'm being a whiny bitch. I'm thankful for all of you who pray for me. Even if you don't, but read these messages, thanks for listening.
==
+ I honor God in all that I do
+ I don't rebel for the sake of rebelling
+ That God would mold me into the man He wants me to be for the service He has in store for me
Updates
==
It's been a few weeks since I got back from Kyrgyzstan. A bunch of people have been asking me how the trip was. For the most part, I've been responding with, "We'll see," because there were a lot of unresolved issues right before returning. Today, I can give you an answer to that question. It was a waste of time and money.
For the last 6 years, I've been doing drama. I've been writing and training my team to perform sketches. And more recently, we've been doing short films. Not Oscar caliber material, but I'm happy with our results based on our budget and skill level. We've been operating independently until a few months ago when the church wanted to have the right or power to approve everything that we produce. I got pissed.
Why? Because I'm a volunteer. I put my sweat, money, love, time, and energy into this ministry. The only reward I get is the knowledge and comfort that I had complete creative control. It's putting out a product that I know I've done my best on not only to entertain but to honor God.
Why is final cut so important? Because the edit is the final leg of the story. It's like getting fiber optics to the curb, but the last 10 feet are copper, what's the point? Or a mechanic who finishes 90% of the work on your car and then hands the last bit to a toddler.
If it were really about the art, then they would want to be involved from the very beginning of the process, but they can't be bothered. No. This is about control and ultimately about free speech. It's about what I can and can't say. It's about what I can and can't put online.
Why is free speech so important? Because it allows us to express ourselves. It allows us to communicate. Without free speech, we wouldn't be able to tell people about Jesus and what He did for us. Granted, that's an extreme example, but if you look around the world, there are plenty of places where it's not only illegal, it's punishable by death. But the flip side is that people can say nasty things about you and your religion. And that's the sacrifice that needs to be made if we want something good.
Obviously, there are certain restrictions that we have to take into consideration with free speech, such as endangering others. For example, it's illegal to yell, "fire" in a crowded theatre because it'll incite a riot.
But some organizations are so afraid of free speech, that they're unwilling to come to any compromise. If that's the case, I refuse to work with those people, paid or unpaid.
Because of my position and my conviction, many of my ministries are in danger. I've decided to take CG.Drama independent of the church because the approval process would be crippling. Not that changes much, because I've been working without the church's support for the last 6 years. But it will make things difficult because I will have limited access to rooms to practice.
If I ever can't do drama in a church, I walk. It's that simple. Regardless of whatever other ministries I'm involved with, that's the deal breaker.
I think about the things that I gave up to pursue ministry. A well paying job which I had just received a raise, an easy commute, a life of relative comfort and simplicity. In exchange for a life of low pay, long hours, heartache, and frustration. And I haven't even left the country yet. When that happens, I face the threat of disease, political and religious factions that want my blood because of what I believe, uncertainty, and loneliness.
Why would I do that? Because I have a God who did all that for me and people need to know that.
I know my reward is not on this earth. And no matter how much I try to do the right thing, things may not always turn out well. But that's okay because I know that God will vindicate me in the end.
I've already given up everything once. Doing it again a second time will be that much easier. And eventually, I'll have nothing that they can take away because the love of God is in my heart.
I've struggled a lot with identity. Who am I? Am I defined by my religion? My job? My interests? And tonight, I realized who I am. I'm a sinner in need of God's grace. No matter what else changes, until the day I die, that one fact will still remain.
I know I'm imperfect. I curse when I'm angry. I drink. I'm stubborn when I think I'm right. And that's just counting what I do right now. But I'm so grateful to know that Jesus loves me and accepts me just the way I am. He loved me before when I would curse Him and laugh at those who believed in Him. And He'll continue to love me no matter what I do. In my success and in my failure. Especially in my failure.
Do I want to change? Yes. But I'm less concerned about looking good than being good. I want to stand up for what I believe is right. I want to stand up for those who are being oppressed. So when the day comes and someone points a gun to my head and asks me if I'll deny Jesus, I'll be able to say, "No."
I've been asked what I'll do when I finish school and I never know how to answer them. I don't even know what I'm going to do next month, let alone know 2 years from now. All I want to do is do what Jesus tells me. Nothing more and nothing less. He's told me to love him and love others. And I'll do my best to do that.
Now, I'm at a crossroads. I don't know what will become of my ministry here at church. I don't even know if I'll continue to be in this church.
I'm thankful for my mom and M who support me and understand my struggles and will tell me when I'm being a whiny bitch. I'm thankful for all of you who pray for me. Even if you don't, but read these messages, thanks for listening.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Requests and Updates for 7/4/08
Requests
==
+ Glorify God as I work w/ coworkers to produce documentary
+ Comfort and peace from the uncertainty and uneasiness
+ Safe travels
Updates
==
I'm ready to go to Kyrgyzstan, even if I don't feel ready. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen once I hit landfall, but that's okay.
In Kyrgyzstan, I'll be shooting a documentary about the broken families and bride-kidnapping. I'll also document Mercy Foundation's response to the need of the area. Hopefully, I can capture some cultural stuff too.
The point of contact that I had been communicating with is back in the states for surgery. I don't know who I'll be working with there, but it'll be a lot of teaching and learning.
Shooting shouldn't be difficult, it's coming back and sorting through hours and hours of footage in a language I don't know. It's going to make editing a pain.
Even if I feel like I lack the skills and the readiness, I know it's not about me. I have the camera work experience and the editing experience to carry me. It's just a matter of mustering all those things up. In the end, the project is in God's hands, and I can't forget that.
See y'all on the 22nd.
==
+ Glorify God as I work w/ coworkers to produce documentary
+ Comfort and peace from the uncertainty and uneasiness
+ Safe travels
Updates
==
I'm ready to go to Kyrgyzstan, even if I don't feel ready. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen once I hit landfall, but that's okay.
In Kyrgyzstan, I'll be shooting a documentary about the broken families and bride-kidnapping. I'll also document Mercy Foundation's response to the need of the area. Hopefully, I can capture some cultural stuff too.
The point of contact that I had been communicating with is back in the states for surgery. I don't know who I'll be working with there, but it'll be a lot of teaching and learning.
Shooting shouldn't be difficult, it's coming back and sorting through hours and hours of footage in a language I don't know. It's going to make editing a pain.
Even if I feel like I lack the skills and the readiness, I know it's not about me. I have the camera work experience and the editing experience to carry me. It's just a matter of mustering all those things up. In the end, the project is in God's hands, and I can't forget that.
See y'all on the 22nd.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Requests and Updates for 6/13/08
Requests
==
+ Discipline and heart to do my devos (it's been a few weeks)
+ Trust God that IP will get made
+ My worth and identity isn't found in the projects that I do
Updates
==
I don't know what's going on, but I've been feeling kind of bummed out. Last night, I just wanted to wallow and eat ice cream. Felt like such a girl (no offense to girls).
I've been working on the Senior Banquet 2008 slide show and had to restart it a few times. The idea that I finally settled on is not nearly as exciting or fun as I would have liked. Every time I sit down to work on it, I just sigh and want to do something else. But I need to finish it by Saturday night since I'm leaving for Mexico on Sunday.
I've also been trying to get Irreplacebly Precious made. IP is a 70 page script Dan and Joyce wrote about 3 to 4 years ago. We spent a lot of time writing and then preparing it for a big live performance, but ended up canceling the show. Every once in awhile, I still think about that decision.
Part of me wonders, "what if", and the other part says that it was the right decision. I usually don't live in the past, but this is one of those things that I never really got closure on. Getting it made now should help that. To that end, I'm going to rewrite it in screenplay format.
I'm still struggling to find all the actors necessary to fill the cast. Right now, Jeannie and Andrew are on board, but need to find another guy.
The whole censorship thing isn't completely resolved, but it ended up being a lot of miscommunication amongst the leaders. Even though I still feel singled out, it probably wasn't the intention. The good thing about it is that it's forcing the leadership to look at Drama and its other ministries in a serious manner. Something that I rather get hammered out sooner rather than later.
So, I'll be in Mexico for a week. It'll be good to relax and get away to do some writing. Then when I get back, I have about 2 weeks before going to Kyrgyzstan.
==
+ Discipline and heart to do my devos (it's been a few weeks)
+ Trust God that IP will get made
+ My worth and identity isn't found in the projects that I do
Updates
==
I don't know what's going on, but I've been feeling kind of bummed out. Last night, I just wanted to wallow and eat ice cream. Felt like such a girl (no offense to girls).
I've been working on the Senior Banquet 2008 slide show and had to restart it a few times. The idea that I finally settled on is not nearly as exciting or fun as I would have liked. Every time I sit down to work on it, I just sigh and want to do something else. But I need to finish it by Saturday night since I'm leaving for Mexico on Sunday.
I've also been trying to get Irreplacebly Precious made. IP is a 70 page script Dan and Joyce wrote about 3 to 4 years ago. We spent a lot of time writing and then preparing it for a big live performance, but ended up canceling the show. Every once in awhile, I still think about that decision.
Part of me wonders, "what if", and the other part says that it was the right decision. I usually don't live in the past, but this is one of those things that I never really got closure on. Getting it made now should help that. To that end, I'm going to rewrite it in screenplay format.
I'm still struggling to find all the actors necessary to fill the cast. Right now, Jeannie and Andrew are on board, but need to find another guy.
The whole censorship thing isn't completely resolved, but it ended up being a lot of miscommunication amongst the leaders. Even though I still feel singled out, it probably wasn't the intention. The good thing about it is that it's forcing the leadership to look at Drama and its other ministries in a serious manner. Something that I rather get hammered out sooner rather than later.
So, I'll be in Mexico for a week. It'll be good to relax and get away to do some writing. Then when I get back, I have about 2 weeks before going to Kyrgyzstan.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Requests and Updates for 5/27/08
Requests
==
+ I would place God first in all things and see how my actions would honor him or be good for his people
+ My heart as it's broken for the church
+ My loneliness as I feel like a prisoner in the church
+ That I would do what's right and good, not what looks right or looks good
Updates
==
Retreat was long, but I learned a lot about interviewing and shooting documentaries. There's so much more that I need to learn, practice and prepare and it's making Kyrgyzstan seem harder and harder.
I've been working on a long term project about my church. So Whenever I get opportunities to get some b-roll or document some stuff, I try to take it. During one of the first worship sessions at the retreat, Shirley came up to me while I was shooting some b-roll of the worship team. I wasn't going to be more than 5 minutes, but she was furious.
She didn't want me filming ANY of the worship times. Part of me understands the motivation. She doesn't want me to be a distraction to the people who are worshiping, which is fine. But there's better ways of telling me than to yell at me. But whatever, it's a minor thing, so I let it pass. It's not worth fighting over. It also wasn't the right time or place to fight because I knew that if I did, I knew it would end up ruining my weekend.
On Sunday night, I was asked to shoot video of "Family Night", where different teams prepared songs and skits for the church's entertainment. Everything was fine and good until I got back on Monday. I receive a message from P.Chu on Facebook that Chuck, Shirley's husband, had told him to ask me to not post the footage online.
I was pissed.
What are we, in grade school? She can't politely ask me directly that she has to have her husband have P.Chu ask me? But that's not the main reason that I was upset.
This morning, Facebook was already covered in pictures and videos from the retreat. Why am I censored? Why are walls built around me? Why am I singled out? And it wasn't even, "Please let us see it first" it was straight up censorship. But the issue goes beyond just censorship, it taps into the nerve of this video ministry.
When I proposed this to the leadership, I understood that I would have to shoot crap that I wasn't interested in. Like the Family Night. I didn't want to shoot the Chinese adults, but I did it anyway. Because in order for me to have the sex, I have to do the money too. I'm fine with that.
What's the point of shooting video if no one's going to see it? What's the point in capturing these performances if they're just going to sit on my hard drive?
Had I known that I wouldn't be able to post it online, I wouldn't have wasted my time or my own money buying tape and batteries or asking a friend to run to B&H after work to buy extra batteries. Or ran back and forth on that stage for like 2 hours.
The kids were really excited about what they had prepared. They were really excited that I was going to film it. And putting it online so that they could enjoy it, so that their friends could enjoy it, would be really edifying.
I have a few options: 1) Post it anyway as a big "Fuck You", 2) Back down, yet again, 3) Be sneaky and have someone else post it, 4) Fight and most likely lose, 5) give up completely and try building this ministry elsewhere.
Analysis of options
1) The worst option because it's the option that I REALLY want to do. My gut wants to do it so bad, but I know it's the wrong decision.
2) I'm tired of backing down. This isn't the first time this issue has come up, but I hate being France. I hate surrendering before a shot is even fired. It makes me feel like a pussy. There's submitting to authority and there's being a pussy.
3) This could work. But will most likely end up being like #1.
4) This is a potential beachhead for other issues. If I fight and lose, then it saves a lot of time in the future because then I can just do #5. If I fight and win, it doesn't mean the war is over and may lead to more fights later on.
5) Kind of like #2 but has the most potential. But going somewhere else doesn't mean that these fights won't be there either. It would mean a lot of work building the ministry again, losing about 7 years worth of work.
Sigh.
==
+ I would place God first in all things and see how my actions would honor him or be good for his people
+ My heart as it's broken for the church
+ My loneliness as I feel like a prisoner in the church
+ That I would do what's right and good, not what looks right or looks good
Updates
==
Retreat was long, but I learned a lot about interviewing and shooting documentaries. There's so much more that I need to learn, practice and prepare and it's making Kyrgyzstan seem harder and harder.
I've been working on a long term project about my church. So Whenever I get opportunities to get some b-roll or document some stuff, I try to take it. During one of the first worship sessions at the retreat, Shirley came up to me while I was shooting some b-roll of the worship team. I wasn't going to be more than 5 minutes, but she was furious.
She didn't want me filming ANY of the worship times. Part of me understands the motivation. She doesn't want me to be a distraction to the people who are worshiping, which is fine. But there's better ways of telling me than to yell at me. But whatever, it's a minor thing, so I let it pass. It's not worth fighting over. It also wasn't the right time or place to fight because I knew that if I did, I knew it would end up ruining my weekend.
On Sunday night, I was asked to shoot video of "Family Night", where different teams prepared songs and skits for the church's entertainment. Everything was fine and good until I got back on Monday. I receive a message from P.Chu on Facebook that Chuck, Shirley's husband, had told him to ask me to not post the footage online.
I was pissed.
What are we, in grade school? She can't politely ask me directly that she has to have her husband have P.Chu ask me? But that's not the main reason that I was upset.
This morning, Facebook was already covered in pictures and videos from the retreat. Why am I censored? Why are walls built around me? Why am I singled out? And it wasn't even, "Please let us see it first" it was straight up censorship. But the issue goes beyond just censorship, it taps into the nerve of this video ministry.
When I proposed this to the leadership, I understood that I would have to shoot crap that I wasn't interested in. Like the Family Night. I didn't want to shoot the Chinese adults, but I did it anyway. Because in order for me to have the sex, I have to do the money too. I'm fine with that.
What's the point of shooting video if no one's going to see it? What's the point in capturing these performances if they're just going to sit on my hard drive?
Had I known that I wouldn't be able to post it online, I wouldn't have wasted my time or my own money buying tape and batteries or asking a friend to run to B&H after work to buy extra batteries. Or ran back and forth on that stage for like 2 hours.
The kids were really excited about what they had prepared. They were really excited that I was going to film it. And putting it online so that they could enjoy it, so that their friends could enjoy it, would be really edifying.
I have a few options: 1) Post it anyway as a big "Fuck You", 2) Back down, yet again, 3) Be sneaky and have someone else post it, 4) Fight and most likely lose, 5) give up completely and try building this ministry elsewhere.
Analysis of options
1) The worst option because it's the option that I REALLY want to do. My gut wants to do it so bad, but I know it's the wrong decision.
2) I'm tired of backing down. This isn't the first time this issue has come up, but I hate being France. I hate surrendering before a shot is even fired. It makes me feel like a pussy. There's submitting to authority and there's being a pussy.
3) This could work. But will most likely end up being like #1.
4) This is a potential beachhead for other issues. If I fight and lose, then it saves a lot of time in the future because then I can just do #5. If I fight and win, it doesn't mean the war is over and may lead to more fights later on.
5) Kind of like #2 but has the most potential. But going somewhere else doesn't mean that these fights won't be there either. It would mean a lot of work building the ministry again, losing about 7 years worth of work.
Sigh.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
The Fight is Over
In my update yesterday, I had mentioned that I would fight for Byron to go on the retreat. He got wind of hassle and withdrew his registration. And just like that, the fight was over and I'm okay with it. It doesn't make what happened any better, but at least it's resolved.
Thanks to everyone who prayed about it.
Thanks to everyone who prayed about it.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Requests and Updates for 5/12/08
Requests
==
+ Self-discipline to do work
+ Submit to authority
+ Opportunities and enegery to meet w/ ppl
Updates
==
Everything's been winding down in the last few weeks. And it's becoming harder and harder to get motivated to do stuff. With no deadlines, a lot of the projects that I need to do just end up sitting there.
On Friday, this new kid, Byron came to YG. He had come to Boba Nite and was then invited to come to YG. He seems genuine about learning more about God and Christianity, which is a rare opportunity these days. And wonderfully, God's placed him in my small group. So I feel a sense of responsibility for him.
This past week, Byron learned about the Memorial Retreat. Registration had already passed a few weeks ago, but there's gotta be ways to work him in. I had him get in his form right away but I didn't anticipate the road block that would be Shirley.
Of course she doesn't care if he's a seeker or not. All she cares about is the amount of "work" that they have to do. Even when we offered other alternatives, such as me giving up my spot or getting him a hotel room, she still said no. She didn't have the balls to tell me, so she had P.Chu tell me to stop fighting. I don't fight for a lot of things, but this is one of the things that I'm going to fight about. (sorry, Chris, I can't let it go)
It's just really upsetting that she's not the only one that sees it this way. Have we become so focused on programs that we're missing the big picture?
I'm in a unique position. Since I'm just a volunteer, I can break rules and fight fights that paid staff can't. If Shirley wants a fight, I'll bring it. I play to win, and if I can't win, I'm going to make it miserable for you to win.
As much as I know I should submit to authority, I can't when a person's life is at stake. I'll continue to do my best to work w/in the system, going over Shirley's head, or even just sneaking him in, whatever it takes.
A lot of people will be coming back this week and I'm trying to find time to meet with all of them, catchup, and just maintain good relationships
==
+ Self-discipline to do work
+ Submit to authority
+ Opportunities and enegery to meet w/ ppl
Updates
==
Everything's been winding down in the last few weeks. And it's becoming harder and harder to get motivated to do stuff. With no deadlines, a lot of the projects that I need to do just end up sitting there.
On Friday, this new kid, Byron came to YG. He had come to Boba Nite and was then invited to come to YG. He seems genuine about learning more about God and Christianity, which is a rare opportunity these days. And wonderfully, God's placed him in my small group. So I feel a sense of responsibility for him.
This past week, Byron learned about the Memorial Retreat. Registration had already passed a few weeks ago, but there's gotta be ways to work him in. I had him get in his form right away but I didn't anticipate the road block that would be Shirley.
Of course she doesn't care if he's a seeker or not. All she cares about is the amount of "work" that they have to do. Even when we offered other alternatives, such as me giving up my spot or getting him a hotel room, she still said no. She didn't have the balls to tell me, so she had P.Chu tell me to stop fighting. I don't fight for a lot of things, but this is one of the things that I'm going to fight about. (sorry, Chris, I can't let it go)
It's just really upsetting that she's not the only one that sees it this way. Have we become so focused on programs that we're missing the big picture?
I'm in a unique position. Since I'm just a volunteer, I can break rules and fight fights that paid staff can't. If Shirley wants a fight, I'll bring it. I play to win, and if I can't win, I'm going to make it miserable for you to win.
As much as I know I should submit to authority, I can't when a person's life is at stake. I'll continue to do my best to work w/in the system, going over Shirley's head, or even just sneaking him in, whatever it takes.
A lot of people will be coming back this week and I'm trying to find time to meet with all of them, catchup, and just maintain good relationships
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